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John McCain Wishes Friend “Happy Birthday” at 11:59 PM

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By: Julia Tesmond

Last night, Senator John McCain took everyone by surprise by voting “No’ on the skinny repeal of ObamaCare right under the wire. While many are criticizing McCain’s flip-flopping as “dramatics”, others insist that Senator McCain has always dramatized his actions. However, the most important action of the night happened at exactly 11:59PM, with John McCain forcing the Senate to stop the voting process. Piledriving Lisa Murkowski as she was casting her vote, McCain announced “It’s my best friend’s birthday right now, you guys. He’s 23 years old. I only have a minute left to call him. Please. I need this. PLEASE!!!!!”. Senator McCain continued to scream please for the next 30 seconds, though no one was objecting to his request. With just 30 seconds to spare, McCain made the call to Sam Smith, wishing the 23-year-old singer a happy birthday at the last second. At 12AM, Senator McCain revived Mike Pence and let the voting continue.






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