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INSPIRING: Straight, White, Midwestern Couple Gets Married, Lives, Dies

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By: Alex Maqueira
 
A match made in heaven, the really white and Baptist heaven, Alan Farrell and Megan Kay finally officiated their eternal bond in the eyes of God this weekend.
 
A beautifully run-of-the-mill ceremony, it was preceded by an arduous and almost unbelievably hostile wedding party photoshoot downtown, and succeeded by arguably the whitest and most tame dance party and reception that has ever graced Milwaukee, and possibly the entire midwest.
 
“They seem really happy, not really sure why though, it’s almost like they get to celebrate without the pressure of a larger system bearing against them,” said a friend of the bride’s.
 
Most attendees seem unsure of what the lovely, privileged couple will go on to do after this but it seems as though they’ll simply just live and then die, unremarkably.






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