Gaylord, MI– Mike Pence, notorious for his anti-LGBT legislation and hateful rhetoric, has shocked and appalled Americans this week with a new stance on LGBT issues. Earlier today, Mike Pence released a statement regarding his new policy, and promised the people of the United States that he would begin every conversation with another man by using the phrase “No Homo”. Here is what Pence had to say:
“No Homo you guys, but I just really hate gay people. Like, they fucking suck. No homo, though. I’ve only watched three seasons of Glee and I didn’t even realize Kurt was gay until I read the Kurt and Blaine fanfic on the internet. But like, I read it in a straight way. I just was trolling the internet looking for a fanfic of dudes being bros.”
Mike Pence has not further commented on his television choices, but a staffer for the future Vice President say Pence also watches RuPaul’s Drag Race, Queer as Folk, and How To Get Away with Murder.