By: Jay C. Gibbs
Citing a “need for changes in leadership”, Donald Trump has moved forward in adding Satan to his management team. In a secret meeting within the last circles of Hell, Trump consulted Satan about the media firestorms surrounding his press statements in the last several weeks, assuming that the Lord of Hell would be the resident expert on firestorms.
Facing widespread criticism from the new appointment, the Yew Nork Times reached out to Satan for a statement.
“I know some are concerned I’m selling myself short by associating with Mr. Trump. However, I am convinced that the campaign strategies Mr. Trump plans to make use of mirror techniques of my own and align closely with goals for both of our political futures. I figured, hey, if I can get humans to reject God, getting them to reject Hillary should be easy as Hell.”
Expert analysts have concluded that Trump has gone completely batshit crazy. They also predict a slow descent into political annihilation and a cataclysm of biblical proportions.