BREAKING: Recently reelected dog mayor Pupper McDoggo has been accepting money to keep the minimum wage lower for goats. In response, other dogs decided to provide money for his campaign. Goats have wondered for a long time why their minimum wages have not been raised, and they have finally found the answer. We spoke with a goat to get his word on the story.
“You know, I work forty hours a week, and still can’t afford to smoke or eat grass. Goats have a huge horny problem that Pupper refuses to acknowledge. It’s complete dogshit.”
When we spoke to Pupper, though, he had a different take.
“Look, I’m a politician,” he said, chasing his tail. “It’s what we do. I mean just look at doge… You think he didn’t have to pull a few strings to get to where he’s at now? Air bud, the dog from the pedigree commercials, Scooby Doo – I can go on and on. It’s the way things are.”
So, it seems as though Pupper’s only response to this is that he is a politician. It’s not the first time we’ve seen something like this; Hillary Clinton had her emails, and Bill Clinton had his blowjobs. But the question now is do try to put a stop to it? Or do we continue to let pupper and doge scums become the face of politics?